Nah, She Didn't!
by fawkkes
Summary: Remember cuddles in the kitchen, yeah, to get things off the ground? / a series of jily oneshots, set in the marauder era / james and lily live!
1. 3AM

**a.n. **Um, hi! This is a rather shabby collection of short stories about the _deer_ly beloved James Potter and Lily Evans (or in some cases, Lily _Potter_). Some one part, maybe two part, it all depends. I hope you enjoy at least one of them, for there is definitely more to come!

**disclaimer:** JKR is everything, I don't own anything except my harboured feelings towards these two idiots (a.k.a jily) and their friends (a.k.a. the marauders) /  
>COVER ART BY BATCII on tumblr<p>

**reviews are v v special to me and they will keep james potter and lily evans aliVE!**

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><p>"Please, please go back to sleep, mate," James whispered for the tenth time, leaning against his son's cot, rocking the crying — no, wailing — baby boy in his arms.<p>

Another 3AM crying session (for it was the fifth consecutive time that night) was enough to make James start crying too. He was exhausted. He knew having a son would be difficult, regardless of the war raging outside the window, but he never knew he could feel like this. It was as if his body protested with every movement made, and yet James' mind was miraculously burning; alive with adoration and love, love, love for this tiny thing wrapped in his arms, despite the sleep-fog haze clouding his thoughts.

"Please?"

James stared down at the tear-stained face of Harry, his heart breaking more than he thought would be possible at the sight. Harry's howling didn't cease no matter what James tried, and James was on the brink of tears himself when Lily ('god bless her,' James thought) stumbled through the doorway.

Her red hair piled messily high in a ponytail, several tendrils escaping the hold of the hairstyle, she leaned on the door frame for a second, taking in the sight of her son and husband. Then she sighed, scratching the top of her head as she walked into the room, her arms already out and James willingly passed her Harry.

For a blissful moment, due to the momentary distraction of being passed to somebody new, Harry stopped crying. His startlingly green eyes locked with Lily's for the briefest of seconds before he continued to cry.

"He won't stop— I don't know what to do, I've tried—"

Lily just smiled tiredly, cutting him off, while James raked a sleepy hand through his hair.

"It's okay, he's just fussy at night-time, isn't he?" Lily soothed, easily manoeuvring Harry so that his chin was resting on her shoulder and she patted up and down his back gently.

"Very," James choked back a yawn, and Lily smiled a little.

"You can go back to bed, James—"

"No, no, it's fine," James said, "He's my son too, yeah?"

Lily flashed him a smile over the din Harry was making into Lily's shoulder. "With this hair? Who else would his father be?"

James let out a chuckle at that, and Harry shifted his attention from crying to James, turning to stare at his father with wide, wet, watery eyes. The 1 year old hiccuped a little, watching his father avidly, and then he stretched out his little arms for him.

James stepped closer to his son, whom Lily was now handing over, and Harry clung to James' crumpled pyjama shirt, fisting at the material before pillowing his cheek against James' chest once more. Lily moved to run her fingers through Harry's unruly hair.

When James let out a second, much louder yawn, Harry copied him, and Lily's heart sped up a little in love.

"Okay, sleepyhead, time to get to bed," Lily said, pressing a kiss to James' shoulder.

"Told you 'm not going anywhere, Lils, he's mine too," James muttered, eyes drooping behind their frames as he used his thumb to stroke Harry's back.

"No, not you. It's pointless to argue with you when you're so stubborn. Even at... 3:20AM when you can barely keep your eyes open." Lily pressed another kiss to James' shoulder, muffling her own yawn. "I meant Harry."

"Right." James looked down at his son. Lily was still threading her fingers through his hair lovingly, and Harry's eyes were beginning to slide shut.

James slowly shuffled over to Harry's cot, careful not to jostle the boy and start what would be the sixth crying session that night alone. He lowered Harry into the crib, Lily tucked him in with a blanket, then kissed his forehead. James just grinned down at him.

Harry's eyes fluttered open for a few seconds, and James bit his lip, hoping and praying that he wouldn't scream and demand to be picked up again—

But then Harry smiled, a tiny, crooked small smile that had James' heart leaping to his throat and Lily smiling so brightly and for a minute James wanted nothing more than to pick Harry up again. And then Harry closed his eyes with a tiny yawn and it took 5 seconds for him to fall asleep, his little chest rising and falling rhythmically, the occasional whimper...

Lily looked up at James, her eyes shining with happiness and she wrapped her arm around his middle before all but tugging him back to their bedroom; the two of them promptly collapsed onto their bed.

"He always calms down when you're around," James commented tiredly, habitually rumpling up his hair before moving to steal the bed covers. Lily smiled softly before easily stealing them back.

"He does. But that's only because when he's around you, you get him all worked up, what with being James Potter..." Lily giggled into her pillow, and James' heart positively soared at the sound. Lily hadn't laughed as much since the war began, but when she did, James swore the world stopped to listen.

"You know he threw up on me today?" James sighed, a grossed out smile playing on his lips. "From excitement, you reckon? Or from being so repulsed by his father figure that he just had to get sick on me—"

Lily smiled at him. "I'm certain it was from excitement, dear. Besides, you had it coming. You knew Remus had just fed him, and you also knew that the aeroplane game was practically invented for projectile vomiting."

James laughed a little at that before the sound broke off into a yawn. He quickly angled his face into his pillow to cover it, but Lily was already smirking.

"Bloody hell, who knew having a kid would floor me?" James said, removing his glasses and rubbing at his eyes. "Merlin, I've looked after Sirius for 7 years and been fine —I mean, he's practically a child— but Harry... It's like a whole other level."

Lily nodded and scooted closer to her husband, resting her head on his chest. "Get some sleep. We both know we have all this to look forward to again tomorrow night."

James audibly groaned (but not before he suppressed a smile) and Lily chuckled before closing her eyes, waiting until James' breathing evened out before letting herself slip back into sleep.

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><p><strong>a.n.<strong> sleepy James is my weakness, as you can probably tell. **please review! I love hearing from people!**


	2. Dining With The (Soon-to-be) Dursleys

**a.n.** I'm back! Sorry it took so long, I'm busy with holidays and fun, but what's more fun than going to the park? WRITING JILY! Thank you to those who reviewed, it means an awful lot! And thank you to those who favourited and followed too! I'm terribly sorry for keeping you waiting!

**disclaimer:** JKR is everything. I merely own the ideas. This was based off a post on Pottermore, which is basically about Lily and James dining with Vernon Dursley and soon-to-be Petunia Dursley.

**reviews are the equivalent of braiding daisies into Lily's hair! (or James's hair, for that matter)**

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><p>Orange and pinkish light pooled in the darker corners of the tiny restaurant Petunia Evans had chosen to dine in. Petunia possibly knew how unflattering those shades would be compared to her sister's complexion, and thus deemed it an appropriate place to eat at.<p>

The twisting black railings secluding the two sisters from the rest of the restaurant were garlanded with flowers: pale pink tulips, creamy daffodils, golden marigolds and peachy petunias intertwined.

Little Fifteen was a beautiful restaurant, with ornate golden picture frames lining the dark red walls, void of pictures, for the frames were magnificent enough. The small, wooden table they sat at was lit only by candlelight, and it cast a flickering glow onto both girls as they waited.

Lily was absently playing with her bracelet, a lace cuff, somewhat awkwardly as she waited for her date to arrive. The sooner the better, for then they could leave. Lily had been dreading this night ever since Petunia suggested it. Her older sister had planned and planned the event with such precision that it wasn't at all a surprise when Lily's date was late and Petunia 'should have known better'.

"Honestly, you would think he would have the courtesy to call!" Petunia said shrilly, a piercing gaze set on her thin wristwatch as they waited.

"James doesn't know how to use a phone." Lily spoke through gritted teeth. At this, Petunia's eyebrows raised so high Lily couldn't see them, and her nose upturned in a snobby sort of way.

In all fairness, James had warned her that he could be late, for the Potters had hosted a grand party celebrating the capture of five Death Eaters, thanks to James's dad (who was an Auror). Of course, Lily couldn't have told this to Petunia for two reasons:

Petunia always turned a blind eye and suddenly became deaf whenever Lily talked about the wizarding world and its magic, so she wouldn't have heard even if Lily told her James was likely to be late.  
>Petunia would have no idea what 'Death Eaters' are, or what an 'Auror' is, and why wizards are celebrating, and frankly Lily didn't have the time or energy to attempt to explain.<p>

Vernon Dursley waddled back from the restaurant's bathroom and sat squatly beside Petunia. Lily glanced at him, ceasing to fiddle with her bracelet. She took a sip from her beverage in front of her, feeling terribly self-conscious thanks to Vernon's disdainful staring. Her stomach rumbled quietly, and she prayed James would arrive soon.

He was over 20 minutes late, and Vernon was just about to comment on this for the thirty-fourth time when James came hurtling through the restaurant door. Lily pursed her lips, Petunia became suddenly indifferent, and Vernon spluttered, his face already becoming a faint puce colour.  
>James glanced around the small restaurant, searching for that lovely red hair -<p>

He put on his stupidly charming crooked smile and ruffled his hair automatically as he set off towards table number 4, where his party awaited him.

He did look very pleasant, Lily noted in her mind, as she smiled the first genuine smile that evening. James wore a dark suit, thin carmine-red tie and a simple white shirt, his top button unfastened with a casual elegance - the exact opposite of his hair.

"So sorry I'm so late - got stuck at a party - loud one, too, my ears are still ringing - I'm really, terribly sorry, um, drinks on me, yeah?" James spoke quickly, darting in to kiss Lily's blushed cheek as a greeting.

"We already have beverages." Vernon snarled, barely suppressing his rage at this untidy boy who had the audacity to display his abnormality in public, for James had slung his travelling cloak over the back of his vacant chair. Vernon looked at it in disgust, his piggy eyes narrowed. In his view, men wore appropriate coats when it was cold outside, none of this travelling cloak tosh!

"I'm sorry," James apologised in a tone with such authenticity Lily had already forgiven him for making her - somehow - look even worse in front of her sister's fiance.

"Are we ordering, then?" Petunia spoke up for the first time since James had arrived. Her voice was very clipped and she had extended her long neck in a way that she hoped asserted superiority.

James raised his eyebrows a little at her cold tone and nodded quickly, unwilling to delay them any longer. Lily glanced at him, her lips pressed together in a way that James knew she was holding back a chuckle. He smirked back, which didn't go unnoticed by Vernon.

A few sharp snaps of clicking fingers and a moment later, Vernon Dursley had called over a waiter and they were currently reciting their orders.

"French onion soup for starters, with a spinach, courgette and leek quiche and vegetables for the main meal. No dessert." Petunia said delicately. Her neck was still extended as she handed her menu back to the waiter.

"Potato wedges for starters. Steak and chips for the main, with stuffing - and don't be stingy with the stuffing - and a slice of that cheesecake." Vernon rattled off rudely, leaving his menu on the table for the waiter to pick up.

James, rather unnerved and unsure if ordering food in the muggle world was any different than the wizard world, paid close attention as Lily ordered.

"Mhm, the rustic apple salad for starters, please. And the sausage and mash for the main. Oh, and the ice-cream for dessert, thank you." Lily finished, passing her menu to the waiter and patting James on the back reassuringly as she did so.

James cleared his throat. Vernon's beady eyes were staring patronisingly at him, judging.

"I'll have what the lady said," James said finally, referring to Lily. The waiter smirked at his answer and James handed his menu in.

Lily smiled brightly at him, holding his hand above the table and Petunia looked revolted.

"So," Vernon began after a long few minutes of painful silence. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Job?"

"Unemployed." At this, Vernon grunted in a condescending tone, so James continued swiftly on. "But I'm hoping to become a Quidditch player once I've finished at Hogwarts."

The effect of James speaking such nonsensical words was incredible: Petunia coughed and spluttered on her drink, her horsey teeth clinking against the glass in shock and her pale eyes dilated; Vernon gagged on his beefy moustache, small eyes wide, whipping around in his chair to see if anybody had overheard them, almost toppling over in the process.

James smothered a laugh and Lily passed off a snicker as a sneeze.

"James is an excellent Quidditch player, Vernon." Lily said very clearly, and Vernon almost had a heart attack.

"Keep your voice down," Petunia hissed at her sister. James bit back a grin and Lily simply shrugged, but before she could elaborate on just how well James had played during the last Quidditch match of the season, their starters arrived.

Once the appropriate dishes had been set in front of the appropriate people, silence reigned as they started to eat. After a long time, once Petunia had calmed down and Vernon seemed to have got over his mini heart attack, the tirade of questions continued.

"Any siblings?" Vernon questioned bluntly.

"None," James said after swallowing a mouthful salad, finding Vernon's questions not at all intimidating, but really rather gruelling.

"Rich?"

Lily looked affronted at such an impolite question and her fork clattered against her plate as she dropped it, but James just looked bored. Petunia's indifference shattered for the briefest of moments before her face became stony once more.

"I suppose so."

Vernon's greedy eyes flashed for a second. "You suppose so? You don't look it."

Lily actually gasped at this, and she stared across the table at her sister, attempting to get Petunia to stop her fiance's bombardment of rude questions. James gave Lily's free hand a gentle squeeze with his own.

"I suppose I don't look it, do I?" James answered shortly, putting down his fork and threading his fingers through his disorderly hair. He picked up his fork again. "But, you see, Vernon, my parents are rich. They're pureblood wizards, not that any of this blood-type rubbish matters, but when you're from a pureblood family, you tend to have riches."

Vernon looked flabbergasted with a hint of rage, while Petunia looked like she wasn't even listening.

"P-Pureblood?" Vernon spluttered, his moustache aquiver.

"Yes," James smirked, rather amused at the sight of an older, trembling man who wanted nothing to do with him and was afraid of words. "But don't buy into it, it's ridiculous. Completely mental."

Lily beamed into her salad and squeezed James's hand lovingly.

Vernon grunted, and silence fell once more.

"What car do you drive?" Vernon asked suddenly, startling the silence. Their dishes had been cleared and they were waiting for the main meal. Petunia eyed James beadily.

"Oh, I don't drive a car." James answered, now weary and tired of the questions. His hand jumped to his hair.

"So you're one of those motorcycle riding hooligans," Vernon said with dislike. Unemployed though, I wouldn't have expected anything less. Typical."

"I ride a broomstick." James said this with such definitiveness that Lily knew his patience was wearing thin. She stroked her thumb up and down the back of his hand in a hopefully reassuring manner. This dinner needed to go well, no matter how hard it would be.

"A broomstick?" Vernon said loudly and snidely. Again, he whipped around to see if anybody heard. His face was becoming slowly redder.

James nodded, and Lily noticed his jaw was clenched.

"Yes. Ever heard of one?" James said sarcastically. "Don't you use them to sweep floors or something? Learnt that in Muggle Studies."

"Muggle Stud-"

"Well, you sit on a broomstick, see, and you can fly anywhere in the world. Don't need petrol or what's it called-"

"Diesel." Lily filled, and James smiled appreciatively, enjoying the look of outrage plastered onto Vernon's red face.

"Don't need any petrol or die-sel, and I bet that saves loads of money."

By now, Vernon's face was scarlet. Their waiter had returned and had served their main meals, and had left quickly due to the tense, almost palpable atmosphere between the two couples.

"That doesn't bother me." Vernon said, voice shaking in anger. "Money isn't an issue for some. I'm financially secure. Got a good, steady job."

"Where do you work-?" James started, but his words trailed off. Petunia had craned her neck so far she resembled a giraffe. She puffed her chest out in pride at her fiance's words.

James raised his eyebrows at her, but Vernon continued as if James had never even spoken.

"No, sir, money is no issue, unlike yourself. What's going to happen if your childish little broomstick breaks? Fly it into a tree or hopefully into a plane? Won't be able to afford a new one. You're not rich! You can't steal from your parents, boy! You'll lose that fortune one day! None of that nonsense will happen to myself - got a fantastic car and money! Me? Well, I'm set for life! We're set for life, aren't we, Petunia?"

Petunia nodded with such enthusiasm that Lily had not seen since they were little. James's teeth gritted. His patience was gone.

"Silly... Irresponsible... Wizards living off unemployment, no money for food... luckily they'll die out soon enough-"

"Didn't I tell you I've got money?" James interrupted. His face, unlike Vernon's, was deathly white. Lily had also gone pale. She hadn't spoken since the main meal had arrived.

"Gringotts - the wizard bank -" (Vernon flinched; Petunia choked on her quiche) "- is the most secure, safe bank in the world. Dragons guarding it, riddles everywhere, you can die if you get lost down there... I don't know about you, but I'm fairly certain my family's fortune is locked up tight, who in their right mind would rob Gringotts?"

Insulted and enraged and positive James was taking the mickey, with a vein threatening to burst at his purple temple, Vernon stared at James with revulsion. Petunia sensed it was time to leave, disregarding her half eaten quiche and the desserts to come, she put a bony hand on Vernon's thick arm and tugged him out of his seat.

Hastening towards the exit of the restaurant, Petunia cast one final look of loathing in James and Lily's direction before leaving with her fiance (who was now roaring with rage and turning steadily more purple).

It was several minutes before James and Lily spoke.

They sat there, alone, in silence as they absorbed what just happened.

James's jaw was still clenched, and Lily was still pale, but now she had tears in her eyes.

It was a few seconds before James noticed, and, feeling very ashamed of himself, he turned to face her.

The sight of Lily's tears seemed to dissipate James's anger. He ran his thumb up and down the back of her hand, much like she had done for him before he lost his patience.

"I'm so, so sorry, Lily."

Lily, now wiping at her tears that fell onto her cheeks.

"S-S-She's m-my sister... S-she's my sister and she h-hates me!"

James pressed his lips together, his hands now clasped around both of Lily's as he urged her to look at him. She did, but he couldn't think of anything else to say except sorry.

"I promise I'll make it right... I'll make this right."

With a great sniff, Lily blinked at him through owlish eyes. He picked up an unused napkin and gently wiped the remnants of her tears.

"Okay."

James let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair tiredly. He left the correct amount of muggle money on the table (which paid for Vernon and Petunia's meals as well as his and Lily's) and got up, unwilling to let go of Lily's hand.

Whatever it took, James would make this right.

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><p><strong>a.n. <strong>thank you for reading! I just liked making Vernon get redder and redder as the story progressed! **please let me know what you thought about it! and you can leave story ideas of your own if you want to! thank you!**


	3. Haphephobia

**a.n. HIIIIIII! **Sorry I completely disappeared! Thank you for sticking around for months of nothing, I'm super super sorry! But, hopefully to make up for the unexpected hiatus, here's a story about Lily having Haphephobia (fear of touch) and one James Potter helping her through it.

**disclaimer: **I don't own anything!

**reviews would mean eveeeveverything to me!**

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><p>When Lily walks down the Hogwarts halls, she usually has to wait until most students are already in class. She doesn't even think twice about it because for the past 5 years, Lily has had more trouble than usual around people. It was a very specific problem, really. Lily has had haphephobia since she can remember, and over the past few years it has got increasingly worse, no matter what she told her parents ("I'm fine! I'm just adjusting to life at Hogwarts, mum!" or "What's wrong with not liking when people touch you, dad?").<p>

Now, convinced that the halls in Hogwarts were empty enough for her to pass through without fear of bumping into anybody, Lily set off for her seventh year Transfiguration class. The only (recurring) problem she found that her phobia hindered her on was the fact that she was almost always late for lessons as she waited for the halls to clear.

As Lily finally hurried down the empty halls towards the Transfiguration classroom, she already feared McGonagall's wrath ("Ms Evans, if you are late again I must issue a detention!"). Panting, having run down 3 flights of stairs and almost stepped on Filch's cat, Lily was taken completely off guard when James Potter came dashing down the opposite hallway. James was shoving the folded Marauder's Map into his robes pockets and was running a hand through his rumpled hair in his haste.

Lily barely had time to register that she was running flat-footed and full-pelt straight at James, who was galloping towards her from the opposite direction, also oblivious to the oncoming collision, when —

"MERLIN, EVANS —"

"_AHHHH_!" Lily screeched, immediately flinching away from James Potter's warm body (which, due to the impact of their two bodies colliding at such speed, had fallen smack onto the floor).

"Shit, are you alright?"

Lily had turned pale, with blotches of red high on her cheeks from the panic. Her breath was coming in uneven gasps, tears in her eyes, her ribs positively burning. Her body felt as if it were on fire, like she was being burned, and everywhere that James Potter had touched her was scalding, her skin melting...

"Evans?" James sat up, rubbing the back of his head and wincing from the pain of the collision, already feeling a bruise. He stared at her, his eyes confused and concerned. "You alright?"

Lily didn't answer, she just stared at something James couldn't see, her face contorted with pain and fear and shock.

"Lily?" He reached over to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Immediately, she flinched away.

"D-Don't touch!" Lily begged, tears spilling over her cheeks. James' eyes grew wide and he retracted his hand a little awkwardly, using it to rake through his hair automatically.

He watched, even more concerned, as Lily rubbed her face with her hands, breathing heavily and curling in on herself. "I'm sorry," she stammered into her hands, her voice small, "I... I'm not used to people... t-touching me..."

"Oh." James said. He sat on his hands. "Well, um, I'm sorry for running into you, Lily."

Lily looked up from her hands and James stared at her. He wanted, more than anything, to reach out and wipe her tears away. But Lily had a problem, a phobia, and a serious one at that.

"W-We should..." Lily sniffled, "Um... g-get to, um... you know... Class."

"No way," James spluttered. "After that? Are you mad?"

"I... please, James, let's just go... McGonagall's waiting..."

"You're going to the Hospital Wing." James stated before standing up from off the floor and holding out a hand... before he realised that she would never take it and he slid it into his pocket.

"I'm fine —"

"Evans, you just screamed when I touched you, that's not normal. Now, I know we haven't been the best of friends for the best part of six years, but this is _bad_, mate."

"But —"

"You're going, Lily. I'm taking you."

James Potter was the most stubborn person Lily had ever met. She knew there was no point arguing with him. "Fine. But... but could you —"

"Stay over here?" James finished, watching as Lily shakily got to her feet and he stepped a few inches away from her. He had noticed how she waited for the crowds to thin before walking through the halls, and he had noticed how she usually hesitated before sitting next to someone in the Great Hall or in lessons or in the Common Room. James just figured it was one of those cute Lily things, but now he knew there was something not right, not natural, about it. He wanted, no, he needed to help her.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

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><p>"James?" Lily asked one evening in the Common Room. James was sat in one of the chairs around the fireplace, playing Gobstones with the other Gryffindors. At the sound of Lily's voice, he leaped out of the chair and started towards her, stopping a few feet in front of her, because, well, you know.<p>

"Alright, Evans?"

Lily chewed nervously on her lip (another thing James had noticed over the past few years). Her eyes were wide and she looked as if she was in the middle of an internal battle between herself.

"I... um," Lily began, her voice wavering. James walked to his empty dormitory for privacy and he beckoned her to follow. She did.

Once in James's dormitory, he sat on the edge of his desk, while Lily stood helplessly in the middle of the room, her eyes just as wide as before.

"Lily, is something wrong?" He prompted gently, and she locked eyes with him, suddenly determined to say whatever she was about to say.

"Can you help me?" Lily said. "I... I want to get better, and, a-and you... you're good at helping me. L-Like in Charms when I couldn't... you know. Or... or in Ancient Runes — which I still can't believe you took — or in Transfiguration when I turned... Mary into a frog and I-I couldn't —"

"Lily," James interrupted her rambling before saying softly, "Of course I'll help you."

She smiled a little, and then she sat on his bed.

James watched her, running a hand through his hair before crossing his arms over his chest. "Alright, so what can I do to help you?"

Lily hesitated for a few minutes before slowly beckoning him over. James raised his eyebrows. He slowly walked the short distance between the desk and his bed, standing in front of her.

"James — sit next to me," Lily bit her lip, watching James with doe-eyes.

"I don't want to push you too far —"

"Sit next to me. It's okay, I sit next to people in class, and in the Hall. And I just... I want to feel normal. Like it doesn't bother me when somebody sits next to me."

James complied, sitting next to her on the bed. Lily took a few deep breaths and stared straight ahead. The presence of James right next to her side wasn't as scary as she thought it would be, and compared to that _monster_ she sat next to in Potions, she almost felt comfortable.

James watched her cautiously, unwilling to do anything that may trigger her. After a few minutes, though, she turned to look at him. "Alright?"

Lily was about to say "yes" but many things happened all at once: Sirius barged through the dormitory door, flinging his satchel onto his bed and groaning loudly; Sirius' abrupt entrance made James start, for it had been completely silent in the room, and he jumped from the shock of Sirius' unexpected arrival, this made him bump into Lily; she set on fire at the interaction and screamed.

"Bloody hell, Lily!" Sirius barked, covering his ears, for he had a terrible headache.

"Sirius, you git!" James shouted, immediately standing up and backing away so Lily could have her space. She was already curling in on herself, her breathing ragged, tears forming, face pale...

When Sirius got up to see if she was okay, about to pat her reassuringly on the shoulder, James barely stopped him in time.

"What the hell —" Sirius questioned as James held him back. "Why's she — Prongs, what the _hell_ is — Get off me, you prat —"

"I'll explain later," James said forcefully, restraining his friend while watching, his stomach twisting uncomfortably because he couldn't _do anything_, as Lily shook with fear on his bed. "Give us a sec, Padfoot."

With a bewildered expression and another curse, Sirius was pushed out the dormitory by James.

After a few minutes of silence, James slowly approached his bed before kneeling in front of Lily. When she gradually uncurled herself, her breathing somewhat ordinary, she scrubbed at her face with her hands, a blush on her cheeks.

"Sorry, I just — Sirius didn't know —" James started, Lily cut him off.

"No, no... it's okay. I-I'm okay."

"Right." James said sarcastically and Lily rolled her eyes, wanting more than anything to shove him playfully. Instead, she caught her breath.

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><p>"You're doing so good, mate!" James grinned, gently touching her hand. It was a Sunday afternoon in the Common Room, and it was all but deserted besides the two of them. They sat together on the couch. It was a few weeks ago when Lily had discovered that she could handle sitting next to James more so than anybody else. She actually <em>liked<em> sitting next to James!

She watched as James's fingers grazed the back of her hand cautiously, a proud smile on her lips. They had only moved on from sitting next to each other to James touching her hand a few weeks ago, and Lily had managed to push past the burning feeling it brought her, and her mouth no longer went dry from the physical contact.

After half an hour of James stroking the back of her hand and telling her ridiculous stories, Lily worked up the courage to hold his hand in hers. Her fingers shakily closed around his, and James's incessant, albeit adorable, rambling ceased when he felt her palm against his.

"Is this okay?" Lily asked him gently. James barked out a laugh at her words.

"It's great." James said easily, his grin so, so big. "It's... it's fantastic."

Lily looked up at him and grinned back.

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><p>A couple of days later, James took Lily out for a walk around the peaceful Hogwarts Grounds, his hand held in hers. It had been raining all day, but the sky seemed to take a break when it realised the duo were heading out for a walk together.<p>

"Alright, Evans?" James asked conversationally as they slowly ambled around the Grounds. Lily was looking up at the sky and she nodded her head in agreement. "Good."

They had been walking around the perimeter of the Quidditch pitch for quite some time, both watching as the Hufflepuff Quidditch team practiced. James's only concern right now was if Gryffindor would be able to beat them next week, because Hufflepuff — especially their Seeker — looked pretty damn amazing right now.

Eventually, the sky turned dark and the rain couldn't hold itself back any longer. The Quidditch team retreated back into the Castle, so Lily and James figured they had better do the same.

Outside the Portrait to the Gryffindor Common Room, James stroked the back of Lily's hand. She smiled a small smile at him.

"Thank you for everything, James."

"No problem, Lily." He wanted to kiss her there and then, but he gathered his thoughts and deemed that was far too difficult for Lily to go through right now. Instead, he moved a tiny bit closer to her. She tensed a little before remembering that it was James. It was _James_. And that thought seemed to calm her.

"Is it okay if I hug you?" James whispered. Lily looked into his eyes, unable to tell if her body was ready or not. She knew for a fact that her mind was ready, she wanted to hug him. Hell, a few seconds ago she wanted to _kiss_ him. But that was a big step, both for her phobia and for their relationship.

"Yes," Lily breathed, watching him cautiously as he edged that little bit closer and slowly pulled her into his chest, his arms wrapping around her protectively.

It started out nice and calming, it felt great being in James's arms. But then the fire started a few seconds later, and the flames licked at her sides, her cheeks became flushed, and the contact became unbearable. She started crying, James immediately let go of her, guilt and in his eyes and he was upset that he made her feel this way... he did this to her.

Lily's breathing came in sharp, painful gasps and she leaned against the walls of the Castle, the Portait watching the scene in shock, and James watched, his insides also burning as he was forced to watch and not comfort, for comforting Lily would surely make it worse.

It became apparent to James that Lily had begun hyperventilating, and sadly this had happened more than once. He knew what to do, he could fix this, fix her.

"Lily," he said firmly as she slid down the wall, tears spilling down her face, her eyes screwed shut. He also dropped to the floor, crawling towards her but being careful to stop a few feet short.

"Lily," he tried again, his voice strong. Lily opened her eyes and James swore his heart cracked. "Lily, what's my name?"

Lily stared at him as if she didn't realise he was there, and James was just about to repeat the question when she said, "James."

"What do you usually call me?"

Lily still took a long time to answer, her breathing still panicky. But now that she had something to think about, something to distract her, she stopped shaking. "Potter."

"What did you used to call me?" James hid a smirk at the answer that was sure to follow.

"A...Arrogant bullying toerag," Lily hiccuped, voice scratchy and breathing almost back to normal.

"That's right. I bet you feel guilty for that, don't you, Lily?" James spoke conversationally. This was how it always went. With each of her panic attacks, James knew the only way to calm her down was to distract her, usually by telling stories. "Remember when I hung Snape upside down?"

Lily scowled characteristically. When she muttered "git", James knew she was fine again.

* * *

><p>A few months later, it was clear to almost everybody in the Castle that James Potter and Lily Evans were something of an item.<p>

Lily became used to James hugging her more often, and she honestly loved the feeling of being in his arms. The burning had stopped whenever he touched her, and she could now hug him back. The first time she did this, James teared up:

"I did _not_ cry!"

"Yes, you did! You absolutely did!"

"Crying is when the tears _leave_ the eyes, Lily!"

"So you admit there were tears! You cried, James!"

She made sure she sat next to him in every class she could, because he could always calm her down if somebody touched her (she also noticed that she wasn't as nervous when around people as before), and she could also (sometimes) focus on the lesson when James wasn't muttering stupid jokes in her ear.

One day, James coaxed her into walking to class with him. At first she was terrified because of all the possible contact with other people, and the burning sensation it brought her, but then James said he'd be with her the entire time, and that calmed her down greatly. Even still, she was terrified.

The very same afternoon, James left the Common Room with Lily to walk with her to their next class: Defence Against the Dark Arts.

James held her hand the entire time, and it was going well until a large Slytherin with a fancy for the Dark Arts named Mulciber stormed down the halls, purposefully pushing a First-Year Ravenclaw into Lily Evans.

Lily gasped from the shock of the contact, the burning feeling against her side, and James swore loudly at Mulciber, vowing to hex him into oblivion. But then Lily grasped at James's hand much tighter than before, than _ever —_ she had never done that before! James was momentarily surprised at the tight hold Lily held against his hand. She usually would have recoiled from any form of touch, and yet here she was, gripping James's hand so tight it hurt. But James didn't care in the slightest, he only wanted her to hold his hand tighter.

He gently rubbed his uncrushed hand up and down Lily's back in a reassuring manner, and in a few minutes, Lily felt safe again as they stepped into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

* * *

><p>Towards the end of their seventh year, James and Lily had shared many memorable kisses. That's right, Lily was perfectly okay — well, more than okay — to kiss James.<p>

It took a while for her to realise, but James's touches did burn her, but not in a bad way. In a good way. In the best way possible. The feeling of his fingertips against her skin felt like fireworks, each touch was exciting and left a pleasurable heat behind. Lily loved it when James touched her. Lily also loved it when James kissed her.

Lily had, in fact, been the one to initiate the first kiss, much to James's surprise. It happened in Lily's dormitory. Her roommates were out somewhere, and Lily couldn't think of a more perfect and spontaneous opportunity.

She invited James over that night, and he quickly accepted, arriving outside her dorm with a box of Chocolate Frogs, some butterbeer and that stupid James Potter smile. She pulled him inside and just kissed him. No words, no need for an explanation. She remembered the smash of the butterbeer bottles against the floor as James had dropped them in surprise, she remembered the Chocolate Frogs escaping their boxes and ribbetting all over the room. But the only thing that she was aware of at the time were James's lips against hers.

It was captivating, and Lily forgot completely about the fear of touch, for she could only focus on one thing: James. Gentle kisses at first but then passionate, and it was lovely. For once, she felt normal.

But then she didn't feel normal, she felt special, because James Potter was kissing back.

* * *

><p><strong>a.n. <strong>Thank you very much for reading, let me know what you think and if you have any ideas of your own, please feel free to share/PM me! THANKS!


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